10 application names that could use a re-think

Posted on March 3, 2009. Filed under: Bangalore News | Tags: , , , , |

By Lee Mathews


Since I started writing here at Download Squad, I’ve come across tons of great new programs. I’ve also encountered some bad ones, and some that never got the chance to strut their stuff. Why not? In some cases, it had to do with how the developers chose as a name for their apps.

Now, I’m not questioning how these applications perform, their price tag, or anything of any real, practical concern. Some of these might be quality downloads. That said, let’s have some fun. Here are 10 application names that warrant reconsideration.

Registry Smoker – I don’t know about you, but when I refer to a piece of hardware on my workbench as being smoked, I usually mean it’s taken a dirt nap. I’m pretty sure I’d want to go with something a little less detrimental sounding, especially when naming a registry-tuning app.

(note: damage picture above was not actually caused by this app)


BananaShrink – I don’t know why, but this one conjures images of George Costanza shrieking “I was in the pool!!!” There’s got to be a better choice for an application that creates self-extracting archives. Bananazipper perhaps? PackingBanana?

Yet Another Stupid Dumb Shutdown Utility – It’s not a great name, but I have to give the developer points for honesty. Of course, with “Take a Hike Software” as his monniker and other apps like “How Long Has My Computer Been Running” and “Time Thingy,” he’s obviously opted for a no-nonsense naming scheme.


VirusKeeper – Along the same lines as the last entry, I think the developers are possibly sending mixed signals here. This is a program designed to prevent and remove viruses and spyware, but it’s called VirusKeeper? I’m a tad confused. I don’t think CCleaner would be nearly as popular if they’d gone with CrapAccumulator.spicsadfy

CrazyBackup – No, you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Still, if I’m on the hunt for a reliable backup application, I’m probably not going to pick something with words like “crazy” in the name. Would you want “CrazyReceptionist” handling the filing at your office? Probably not.

SpicyBot – Go ahead and guess what this app is for. If you said “malware defense,” I’ll assume you googled it first. Give me a program with a more ballsy name to do this task. BotAnnihilator. Malware Eviscerator. SpicyBot? That sounds more like an effeminite Futuruma character who’s about to get his shiny metal ass kicked by Bender.

Scan Fast Slow Disk – Does this program scan slow disks quickly? Does it scan both fast and slow disks? Contradictions in your name are never a good idea. Unsafe Security 2009? It just doesn’t work. The dev’s German homepage is down, so I had to link you to Brothersoft on this one.


FileMurder – Maybe it’s me, but this title seems overly dark. Though I suppose murder is one way to describe the act of making a file unrecoverable. That is, of course, unless you also have File Re-Animator on your PC, though I wouldn’t recommend running it. Invariably something goes wrong and the files turn against you.

WipeItOff– As someone who’s changed his fair share of diapers, this phrase makes me think more about backsides and less about my browser’s history. Also, their site talks about leaving tracks everywhere. I apologize if you were eating just now.

Private Tracker Pro – Who wants to mess about with a free or amateur version of a program to track their privates? That’s a chore that you really need the reassurance of a pro version to “tackle. “



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[…] we just received a tip that GScrot (which should have appeared on my list of badly-named applications) has been re-launched with new features and a less anatomical-sounding name: […]

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